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| Fashion Fuss with Teens |
THE OTHER DAY I TAUGHT MY brother Anand how to speak
"Women's Clothes." It's a complicated language;
rich, multi-leveled, and full of many more
adjectives than the language of "Men's Clothes." I
was selecting what I'd be wearing to a party we were
going to that evening. I explained how I thought
maybe I'd wear a well-cut Pierre Cardin dress,
augmented by silk scarf . And should I wear my new
funky dangling earrings? If so, then I couldn't wear
my red lipstick, and I like how I look in red
lipstick.
"What's with the 'if this then that' thing?" asked
Anand.
I tsk-tsked him, and explained: "I want my look to
say: 'Sexy without trying too hard. As well as
smart-but smart/interesting, not
smart/know-it-all.'"
ANAND LAUGHED, BUT I KNEW what I was talking about.
I've earned an honorary Masters in the language of
"Women's Clothes." I've been studying it since my
teenage years and am gravely aware of what a
sensitive language it is - as sensitive as Japanese
to the subtlest shifts in emphasis. Something as
seemingly minor as a layer of red lipstick can carry
enough weight to shift a look entirely in the wrong
direction. Ultimately, I opted for the red lipstick
with my small art deco earrings - but decided not to
totally comb my hair so I look less pre-planned.
Again, Anand laughed at my nuances, but I knew
tonight they would not go unnoticed. The women at
the party would immediately know what my clothes and
accessories were saying about me. And the men would
know, too, without knowing they were knowing. I'd be
communicative loudly to them on a subconscious
level.
ANAND'S FASHION DILEMMA for the evening was less
complicated.
"Does this green shirt look too dirty to wear?" he
asked. Anand's not big on clothes. But even if he
were, a man's fashion choices, compared to a
woman's, are much more narrow, which I believe is a
very significant sociological difference. I have a
theory that the extreme variety of clothing
available to women is yet another way we women allow
ourselves to be emotionally vulnerable.
Wacky, you think? Admit this:
A woman's wardrobe options are greater than a man's.
For every style of shirt a man has, a woman has
twenty more, same with pants. Plus a woman has the
option of wearing salwars, saris, and dresses and of
course, pants - of a wide variety of styles,
lengths, fits. And earrings, necklaces and bracelets
- of assorted personalities. Each of the choices a
woman makes in selecting her garb works like an
adjective, describing a bit about her tastes, her
confidence level, her sexuality, her sense of humor,
even her politics. And because a woman uses more
adjectives when she dresses than a man, she
communicates in more detail who she is. Proof in
point that a woman's wardrobe is yet another way a
woman makes herself more emotionally vulnerable to
the world than a man's does.
THE PARTY THAT EVENING supplied further proof. I
pointed out to Anand how most of the men in
attendance were dressed alike: in trousers and
button-down shirts. The generic nature of these
men's clothes prevented any personal communication
from leaking through. A man's modus operandi! I
could barely even assess these men's economic
status'.
But the women might as well have been wearing
signboards advertising their idiosyncrasies. I
pointed to a cute henna haired woman wearing a
tight-fitting chudidhar and high spiky heels and
told Anand to keep away. It was obvious by her
clothes, she'd be very needy in a relationship.
Plus, the particularly trendy flower-print she wore
revealed her to be a follower, not a leader, and
thereby a little less stimulating on the
conversational front. And her plain, but large, gold
hoop earrings proved she was not artsy enough for
Anand. No doubt about it: They would disagree on
most movies.
"I KINDA GOT THIS FEELING she wasn't my type," said
Anand, "But I still can't believe you can tell all
that!" Just then, a petite shorthaired girl in a
creme sheer shirt (with a creme lace top peeking out
beneath) accompanied by fitting jeans and combat
boots walked past. "I like her," Anand said. "She
seems my type." "You both share a lot of CD's in
common." Anand laughed, challenging my knowledge. So
I approached the girl, and was right: Metallica, a
lot of jazz, a smidgen of reggae, and not much rap.
Forget about astrology signs, if you want inside
info on every nook and cranny of a woman's soul,
find out her favorite clothing designer.
OF COURSE IT'S NOT JUST THE DESIGNER NAMES that
matter, it's the styles they represent. And of
course it follows that the most interesting and
complex women have a little bit of every style in
their wardrobe.
MEN, WITH THEIR LITTLE selection of messages to
send, have less opportunity to fool us women. Even
if they tried, a woman's honorary Masters in the
language of Women's Clothes would aid her in tuning
into the lies of Men's Clothes. A man eager to trick
a woman by wearing baggy striped pants to look thin,
or a fake Armani suit to look rich, or an all black
outfit to look understated - when he's none of the
above - would most likely fail. We women have been
studying this since our teenage years, and know all
the subtleties of cut and cloth.
"Keerthi! There you are!" said Anand. "Let's get out
of here." "So soon? What's the matter?" I asked.
"It's that woman in the tight chudidhar and spiky
heels. She..."
"I know, I know," I said.
And I did, so we left |
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